What I Learned about Life from P. Diddy
Tonight I watched Sean "P. Diddy" Combs on Nightline. I was a big fan of his music in the 90's. It's always fun to see celebrities grow older and hear what they think about themselves and their place in the world. I was reading some tweets about him after the interview and came across words like rude, cheesy, self-important, no shame, and full-of-it. I can see how he comes across that way. The funny thing is that these opinions don't seem to bother him.
Even through all of that, I found 3 takeaways after listening to Martin Bashir's interview with him.
Your Spirit is different as you grow older.
Martin asked P. Diddy (paraphrasing), How do you enter your 40's as a hardcore gansta rapper?. He responded by saying that you don't do the same things because your Spirit is different. You can't do the same things when you are 40 that you did when you were 20. He gave an example from his music by saying that he now sings more about love. I agree with that with one caveat. It's not that you can't do the same things, it's just that sometimes it doesn't make sense to do the same things. You mature and your life changes, so you decide to let your Spirit drive you in a different way.
Even the most successful people feel like failures sometimes.
When asked about his 6 kids, P. Diddy admitted that he hasn't been the most successful at being a father. We often hold celebrities up to higher standards and expect them to be perfect at everything. They are obviously human too and run into some of the same challenges as non-celebrities. It was refreshing to hear that P. Diddy didn't think he was a perfect father. He has such a confident demeanor as an entrepreneur that it's easy to forget that he might have a vulnerable side when it comes to his personal life. I think we all have to be honest with ourselves and realistic about our ability to be a success in all areas of our lives.
Offer your brand to the world.
Martin Bashir closed the interview by saying that P. Diddy would now be going back to what he does best by offering his brand to the world. This isn't limited to celebrities. It's just that branding is more prominent when it comes to famous people and businesses. We all have a brand, a specific demeanor that is unique to us. Another name for it is our Personality. We shouldn't hide who we are to fit into someone else's mold. For example, P. Diddy doesn't worry about people thinking he's a megalomaniac. You don't have to go to that extreme, but just stay true to yourself.
What did you think of the interview? Any other redeeming takeaways?
Phyllis Mufson – Catalyst for Personal & Professional Growth
About a month ago, I met Phyllis via Twitter (don't you love social media!). I had been reading her posts for awhile and thought that she might have something of value to offer to my readers. I was right! Phyllis has offered something called "Your Personal Retreat." It includes an article and audio exercises to help you take some time out for yourself and look at your life. You can also do these exercises with friends.
Here's my interview with Phyllis about how she lets her Spirit drive in her professional life.
Hi Phyllis. Thanks so much for offering a bonus gift to my readers. Could you tell everyone more about yourself and your business.
I’m both a career / business consultant and certified life coach with an international clientele of creative and enterprising people. My overall aim is to help individuals develop fulfilling work while growing personally and professionally. I’ve coached and consulted in the career field for more than twenty-three years. I trained as a coach and was awarded certification through the Coach Training Institute and have also completed further training in Co-Active Leadership and Somatic Coaching. I’m qualified in the MBTI (Myers Briggs Type Indicator), which is a highly validated instrument that identifies individual preferences, and helps clients understand themselves and others better.
I’ve been interviewed in over seventy newspapers including the New York Times and Washington Post and have spoken on career topics on radio and television. Currently I write about Boomer careers for Job-Hunt.org (http://www.job-hunt.org/boomer-job-search/boomer-job-search.shtml) and on personal development for the international women’s service organization Soroptimist: (http://www.soroptimist.org/LiveYourDream/LifeCoach.html).
It sounds like you're busy doing a lot of fun and creative ventures. I'm sure all of this didn't happen overnight. What has your professional journey looked like so far?
In the past I served as director of Career Services at Moore College of Art and Design, and as a marketing and public relations writer. I’ve served on the U. S. board of the Association of Career Professionals International (ACP) as well as the boards of the ACP’s Philadelphia chapter and Business Women’s Network.
A benefit to my clients from my level of experience is that, having worked with so many people, I can usually see into what they are telling me and quickly get to the nub of what is bothering them.
Before beginning my career as a life coach and consultant, I was an artist working in textile design, creating wall pieces, one-of-a-kind fashion, and custom textiles for interior designers. My work sold nationally through retailers from New York: Bergdorf Goodman and Julie’s Artisan Gallery to San Francisco: the “Obiko” art wear boutique, and is held in individual and corporate collections. With my partner Richard Valentino, I founded the San Francisco School and Gallery of Textile Arts, and wrote the book “Fabric Printing: Screen Method.” I was a winner of a National Endowment for the Arts grant in crafts.
I am fortunate that in addition to being a creative person, I’m good at business and I have the ability to think strategically. Since early in my career I have earned part of my living helping other artists and designers earn a livelihood.
Currently I find artistic expression making jewelry. You can see my work online at Personal Treasures http://personaltreasures.etsy.com and Mufi Jewels http://mufi.etsy.com.
Very nice pieces! That's wonderful to have that creative outlet. Since you've had several professional experiences (both paid and volunteer), how did you you decide on the next path to take to get you where you are today?
At a time when I was looking for a new career direction, a light bulb came on when I saw Stand and Deliver
That discovery led me to approach Barbara Sher, a personal growth author and one of the pre-cursors to the field of coaching. Her book “Wishcraft” fascinated me, and I asked her permission to design a workshop based on it. Not only did she give her permission, but to encourage me, she generously introduced me to the audience and had me talk about the workshop the next time she spoke in Philadelphia.
Soon after, I was hired by an international career management firm to lead workshops to help laid-off executives choose a new direction and learn and practice job search skills. Although I was new to the field, they chose me over candidates with training and experience. I discovered later that I was hired because they saw me clearly as ‘a natural,’ and they trained me in their methods. It was an inspired time for me and I felt encouraged by the help and mentoring I received.
I have been given a great gift that has made my life much happier. My work is so well suited to me that it’s a pleasure and I’m always interested in learning and developing more. This is what I want for my clients as well.
Wow, that's beautiful. Talk about everything falling into place! Now that you're doing such great work, what do you use as an indicator of your continued success?
My success is my client’s success, and success for my clients is clearly visible. If they are looking for a new direction; they find out what they want to do and make the transition. If they are looking to grow their business, it is very clear that our work together is productive because their business is growing. If they want a better job, they get hired.
As a result my practice grows almost entirely as a result of referrals. What I am most proud of is there are families where I have worked with everyone, including cousins. First the parents, then the children as they graduated from school, and then again as they matured and grew in their careers.
Thanks so much for your time and sharing your story!
Jennifer Monahan, Author
Jennifer reached out to me via my e-book launch blog post. She was nice enough to vote for me in The Next Top Spiritual Author competition. We share a similar philosophy about education and its role in the journey of life.
Jennifer has written a book about her journey that also has a driving theme, literally. Her book is called An American in Oz: Discovering the Island Continent of Australia. Those of you that enjoyed reading Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia
Here's my interview with Jennifer on how she lets her Spirit drive in her professional life.
Jennifer, how would you summarize your professional life?
I am a writer and speaker, and I have come a long way from selling stamps for the US Postal Service.
Definitely! Do you remember what you said you wanted to be when you grew up?
A writer. I was 40 when I remembered that tidbit!
Ha! It's funny how it can take awhile to remember those childhood dreams. What has your professional journey been like so far?
Courageous, crazy, and the only thing worth doing.
It's great how you were able to take a courageous trip to Australia and turn it into something that made your childhood dream come true. What was your process of deciding on the next path to take?
I had heard often enough from family and friends, "You should write a book." I decided to listen to those who knew me better than I knew myself at the time. Once I started writing, it was as if I came home to myself and knew it was the only path to take.
That's wonderful. What do you use as an indicator of your success?
How many doors open in the most surprising of places.
Yes, doors do seem to open even when you're not expecting it. You seem like an ambitious person, so how do you decide which door to walk through?
I listen to the voice within, and when I hear the same idea over and over again, I make a commitment to follow through. Right now, it's to put all things aside and make my book into an ebook. Crazy as this sounds, it was my first goal to make an ebook before the pbook (printed version), but the pbook insisted on coming out first. I'm glad it's here, and now it's time for the ebook.
It's great to hear about another author's process. Jennifer, before you go, do you have any words of advice to share with my readers?
Following your heart, taking the road less traveled, takes a tremendous amount of faith, courage, and perseverance. The good news is, it's worth every worry, tear, and angst to get to the other side into freedom. Everyone who has taken this path experiences the same struggle, and everyone experiences the same reward of freedom.
Thank you. Again, Jennifer's book is An American in Oz: Discovering the Island Continent of Australia
And don't forget to purchase my book, Driving to Success: Let Your Spirit Take the Wheel, today (May 20th) to get 8 great bonus gifts (including one from Jennifer)!
Interview with Rebecca Dakota, Visions Video Productions
I had the pleasure of working with Rebecca while serving on a nonprofit board in Albuquerque. Rebecca is passionate about helping local businesses and her current entrepreneurial efforts support that passion. During that time, we had many chances to discuss our spiritual approaches to life. I was pleased to have Rebecca provide an endorsement of my book.
Here's my interview with Rebecca about how she lets her Spirit drive in her professional life.
Rebecca, tell my readers a little more about your business.
I own Visions Video Productions, an independent production company focused on what connects us to each other and the earth. Along with documentaries on social justice and environmental issues, I use my skills to help local business owners have a better video presence on their Web sites.
That an important part of Web sites nowadays. I'm curious how close your current profession is to what you said you wanted to be when you grew up.
I wanted to be a photographer for National Geographic magazine.
Not too far off since National Geographic's tagline is "Inspiring people to care about the planet"! How would you describe your professional journey so far?
A weave of creative/entrepreneurial and community leadership.
As you created your professional tapestry, how did you decide on the next step in your path?
Inner guidance, outer changes, patience and perseverance! I quit a part-time job that was taking too much away from this passion of making videos and movies that matter. After making that decision and taking that leap, a different part-time job fell into my lap and I now have more energy for doing the creative work of movie-making.
How wonderful to have things fall into place like that. When you do make a change like you did, what do you use as an indicator of your success?
Whether I feel peaceful.
Very nice. And I'm sure you continue to set goals for yourself even if you already feel successful. Do you have any special tips for my readers on knowing which goals to drive toward?
I pick those things that have what I call "sparkles" around them -- whether big or small, the things that pull me and energize me become my goals.
Thanks so much for your time, Rebecca. Any other comments or things you would like my readers to know?
I can be reached! My phone # is (505) 858-1868.
Taking a Break Brings Clarity
A few days ago, I was trying to figure out how to solve a problem with a client's Web site. The funny thing is that I remembered solving a similar problem not too long ago. For some reason that answer just wasn't coming to me. At first, I focused hard on the problem. I looked through e-mails, past documentation, and searched online. It was frustrating running into dead ends.
So, I decided to take a break and clear my head. Almost like magic, within a few minutes, the solution came to me.
It's funny that the exact opposite of what you expect can bring results. I find that focusing too hard on something actually seems to push it away. Now, I was just trying to solve one issue. Imagine if you were trying hard to reach a goal. I'm sure you've been in a situation where you wanted something so badly that you did everything you could to make it happen. It could be a raise, a promotion, one new client, or several big contracts.
We can all get so obsessed with our goals that the Universe almost says, "You don't trust that this can happen. So, I'm just going to wait until you do." As a result, your dream job or client or business feels further and further away.
If you just relax and give in to the process, this allows the Universe to work the way it does best. It can get through the clutter of your mind and give you answers. Actually, the Universe is always trying to give you answers. It's just that your mind can be so preoccupied with things that you can't even hear the answers. This is why taking a break is so meaningful when driving toward your goals.
If you're looking for a fun way to take a break, check out the The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. All of us are artists in one way or another. We all have something that we are creating - ideas, products, or services. She talks about The Artist Date as a way of getting your creativity to flow. For one of my artist dates, I went miniature golfing by myself. Although I got some strange looks from others wondering where the rest of my party was, I had fun taking that time to clear my mind.
Slippery Slope of Choosing to Be Happy
We've all heard it before from other self-help gurus. They suggest you just change your outlook, choose to be happy, and everything else will fall into place. I disagree with that.
The problem with just putting on a happy face is that sometimes you're deluding yourself. You're pretending that everything is fine. And worse, you're pretending that you like your life the way that it is. What about applying that theory to your career?
A recent study showed that 55% of Americans are unhappy with their careers. I know, I know. You can't believe every statistic you read. But even if the number were only 15%, it makes you wonder why people are unhappy and how long they've been that way. I have a poll on my site called "How do you feel about your job or business?". The majority of those who have responded would fall into that 55%.
Have you tried to tell yourself or someone else to just have a positive outlook on their career even if they dislike it? It works for a little bit, but it isn't a permanent feeling. If you spend at least 8 hours a day, 5 days a week on the job, it's hard to pretend to be happy for that long.
Choosing to be happy in your career might work in specific situations: a meeting you don't want to attend, a report you don't want to write, a presentation you don't want to give. It's not a good idea to pretend that you are happy with all aspects of your career if it truly doesn't fit where you want to be in your life. Instead, use the energy you're spending trying to be happy to plan what you want to change.
Perspective on Your Journey
My husband and I used to go on a lot of road trips. I can remember that every one had some element of surprise - everything from getting a speeding ticket to having a baby bear jump out in the middle of the road. We would always have a good story to tell at the end of the trip.
The most memorable parts of the trip were often those things that seemed to be the most annoying or troublesome at the time. As I scan through my professional journey, I'm realizing that the same is true. I start to look back on the times when I was stressed or worried about a situation. What I remember most are the people who were there during those times and how I was able to move past the situation.
For example, I can remember a couple years ago when we were planning to buy some office space. On the way to the location, someone rear-ended us. After we were done with our meeting, we discovered that our previous Web host had suffered from a hacking attempt. We were scrambling to get our clients' Web sites back up and running. Both situations quickly diverted our attention away from everything related to buying that space.
Why Letting Your Spirit Drive is Hard
This blog title probably goes against all that you would expect to see on a site about success. Let me explain.
We all go through it. The high of the promise of a new year. We begin telling ourselves, "It's time to turn over a new leaf", "Everything's going to be better this year", and "I'm definitely going to make some changes". It sounds so easy on January 1st.
We're almost two weeks into the New Year. So, this is about the time when you figure out if their New Year's resolutions are going to stick. There is a theory that you have to do something for 21 days straight to make it a habit. Today, we're a little over the halfway point.
This might be the time when you run into a challenge that makes you almost slip back into your old ways. In the last blog posting, I suggested that you Let Your Spirit Take a Spin in 2010. I was referring to letting your Spirit drive in your professional life. If you took me up on that suggestion, now is about the time when you realize something interesting about yourself and all humans: it's just easier to let your Personality drive.
When your Personality is driving, you don't have to worry about looking at the bigger picture of a situation. You can let your feelings out in whatever way you want. You also can make decisions without needing to reflect on them. Sounds a lot easier, doesn't it?
Well, it is for the short term. You'll find that if you continue to let your Personality drive, you won't get the success results that you're expecting. You'll struggle to get where you want to go.
Letting your Spirit drive isn't actually hard, it just takes more of a conscious effort. Eventually, with practice, it will seem effortless.
Here's to going beyond New Year's resolutions and letting your Spirit drive year-round!