Cruise Control Makes Me Feel Out of Control
As I mentioned in my last post, I had some insights about actual driving and Spirit Driving while on my recent roadtrip. This first one cracks me up.
When we're driving, my husband likes using the cruise control once we're on a nice stretch of highway without a lot of traffic. He always encourages me to do the same. I've used it a few times, but something about it makes me feel out of control. I always worry that I'm going to have to change lanes or slow down suddenly and that I'm going to forget which button to press.
My husband will say, "Don't worry. You know how to do it. Hold down this button to slow down and this one to speed up." Inevitably, when the time comes when I need to accelerate or decelerate, I get flustered and decide to stomp on the gas or the brake. It still accomplishes the same task, but defeats the purpose of cruise control. Then, I tell my husband, "See, I told you I would forget."
The reason this cracks me up so much is that our little exchange about driving is very similar to the way we converse about goals. It's very hard for me to just go with the flow. I'm always trying to plan ahead and anticipate the next step. I feel that I can only get ahead if I'm in control and don't have some outside force guiding me.
But, guess what? There are outside forces that guide all of us. They aren't steering for us, but they do help us to move forward. It might not be at the speed that we want. And it might not be exactly the way that we envisioned. Nevertheless, it's going to happen. And we can't completely control it. Yes, even the author of Driving to Success has to remind herself of this sometimes.
No matter how in control you feel when it comes to your goals, no amount of planning can guarantee "success". I put that in quotes because success defined in this way means getting what YOU want. If you've read my book, you'll know that that isn't the true definition of success. When your Spirit is driving, what you get in the end might look quite different from what you envisioned. But it is exactly where you needed to be.
While in Denver on vacation, I drove past my old graduate school and had a bit of a flashback. I remember going to the lab sometimes late at night and checking on an experiment. I would imagine the day when I would be a professor and have my own lab. Had I continued on that path, I would probably be finishing my postdoc or starting my first job in academia right about now. My goals revolved around that. I hadn't thought about having a family or having my own business in a completely different field.
Don't get me wrong. It's not that I've completely denounced that scientific part of myself. Sometimes I reminisce about my days doing experiments in the lab. I still have plans to incorporate that in my professional life, but in a different way. My Spirit has driven me elsewhere and I'm better for it.
The Spiritual Entrepreneur’s Dilemma: Firing Clients
As an business owner, you have met many different types of people, from co-workers to clients. Some you get along with and some you don't. If a co-worker isn't meeting expectations, it's perfectly acceptable to give them warnings, give them a chance to redeem themselves, and ultimately fire them. But how do you deal with firing clients if that opportunity presents itself?
There are many posts out there on how to move on when you no longer want to work with a client. And there are many reasons to do so: slow payers, verbally abusive, don't appreciate your work, micro-managers, etc. The problem becomes more complex if you consider yourself a spiritual person. How do you stop working with someone when you're worried about how the Universe will treat your decision?
After communicating with your Spirit, you will discover whether you are simply trying to avoid a necessary challenge or experience. Sometimes we have to deal with someone we don't like in order to make us stronger. Your Personality doesn't particularly like growth. It would prefer to just react to a situation and not worry about the consequences.
If after looking at the situation with a clear mind, you may find that you really do need to get rid of a client. Do so in an honest, yet tactful way. E-mail, phone, or letter is fine. (Remember that anything you write could end up someone's blog, Facebook, or Twitter someday!)
Don't dwell on the decision after the fact. We tend to replay it over and over in our heads and try to figure out ways we could have said it better. Also, don't be petty and talk about every single thing that you didn't like about the person or relationship. Instead, just move on and focus on bigger and better things. If you come from a spiritual place, you shouldn't have to worry about Universal retribution (or karma, as some folks call it).
Also, you might be worried about where your next client, and therefore your income, is going to come from. It might be scary to consider losing that income (trust me, we've ALL been there). But it is worth it if the relationship isn't serving you well. Remember the Law of Abundance is always in play.
Are You Perfectly Stuck? – Guest Blogger, Donna Toothaker
From Leila: Donna Toothaker was my first virtual assistant (pun intended). Her business is called 1st VA and she helped me to launch my Spirit Driving teleclasses back in 2004. Her business has grown because she is a high achiever with great ideas. In this article, she provides some insight on challenges that high achievers face. I agree whole-heartedly. Enjoy!
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As creative, entrepreneurial people, we are often gifted with the world's greatest ideas. Our imaginations abound with business plans, information products, and new ways of marketing our services. So, why aren’t we acting upon, and manifesting all these brilliant dreams of ours? We're perfectly stuck, that's why.
We have high standards, and are high achievers. We also have the tendency toward perfectionism - wanting everything to be just "so" before we put it out into the world. The difference between being a high achiever and perfectionism is that high achievers relish the process of creating and manifesting something, and once they start they don't look back – they keep moving. Perfectionists, on the other hand, are focused solely on the goal, and are so driven to succeed – or rather, not to fail – that many times they don't even begin the creation process due to overwhelm.
How many people don't move forward with projects or in their business because they're waiting for things to be perfect, the perfect business name, domain, website, information product, program, the perfect timing... the list goes on. The sad truth is, if they just took action without waiting for perfection they'd be so much further in their business.
How do we move the perfection roadblock from out of our path to manifesting our dreams? Consider a few small things that can make a huge difference:
As perfectionists, we're our own worst critics. Nobody can possibly be scrutinizing you or your work as much as you are. Most imperfections we notice in our work are unimportant, or invisible, to others.
Small moves, made repeatedly, are better than one big effort. Just as we are told about the cumulative health benefits of short bursts of exercise, so do small actions add up to big gains in manifesting your ideas. What small action step can you do today - every day - to keep your dream in motion?
Mistakes can be springboards for success. No matter how seasoned you are in your business, you will make mistakes – even when things seem to be going smoothly. It's just a fact of life. And, often it is the larger mistakes that teach the most meaningful lessons. Learning from mistakes, and learning how to implement that knowledge immediately into your creative process can spring you more quickly toward achieving your goals, or launch you in a whole new direction.
Be kind to yourself. When mistakes do happen – and they will – be compassionate toward yourself. Practice positive self-talk, replacing name calling ("How could I be so STUPID") with self-encouragement ("Next time, I will slow down and be more careful so I don’t overlook important details.")
The bottom line is, while a desire to do well, to do your best work and to explore your full potential can give you sense of satisfaction and personal fulfillment, you have to learn when it is 'good enough'. Only then, will you be able to move forward with confidence and bring those brilliant ideas to life.
Donna Toothaker is CEO and founder of 1st VA the highly sought-after online marketing and consulting company. 1st VA specializes in providing online marketing support and services to entrepreneurs and solopreneurs who wish to effectively build or improve their online presence. To discover how 1st VA can help your business - visit http://www.1stva.com.